


Come Join The Murder

by ZweIthePenguinwithaPen



Category: RWBY
Genre: Canon Divergence?, Gen, Qrow Branwen - Freeform, Raven Branwen - Freeform, an alternate version of Qrow and Raven's conversation from V4, mention of Summer, mention of Vernal, or more likely a different meeting altogether, this was written before we found out Raven was the Spring Maiden
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 13:06:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16954596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZweIthePenguinwithaPen/pseuds/ZweIthePenguinwithaPen
Summary: A conversation between Qrow and Raven. Mentions of Raven x Summer x Taiyang. Also Qrow hits on a barkeep. Rated M for coarse language and suggestive themes as well as general Qrow-ness.





	Come Join The Murder

**Author's Note:**

> This was written after we met Vernal but before we learned that Raven was the Spring Maiden. That's why some of the info is dated.

"I am no one's blessing..." He mumbled as he staggered down the pathway toward the tavern. He'd already been tossed out of one bar, but he wasn't at this new one for more booze. He fumbled with the sideways cross pendant that hung from his neck.

 

"Not in here, Drunky!" The doorman told him sternly.

 

"I'm not here to drink, I've had more than my share already. I'm meeting someone here." Qrow stuttered. The guard stood his ground.

 

"He's with me," spoke a voice behind the doorman, "and I promise he won't have any liquor." The guard stepped out of her way, knowing well not to provoke this one. The whole tavern would be in shambles if anyone pissed her off.

 

"Certainly, ma'am," he told Raven, but he looked back at Qrow before adding, "I don't want no trouble. I'll tear your arse off if you start anythin' or anger Branwen."

 

"I'm a Branwen, too, so be careful whose 'arse' you go threatening." Qrow moaned as he showed himself to Raven's table. The doorman rolled his yellow eyes at the remark, though he did see a slight resemblance.

 

"Two glasses of tea. Make a stiff one for the lady. I'm sure she needs it, talking to my sorry ass," Qrow motioned to the barmaid, flipping her a nice handful of Lien. "And maybe come talk to me when your shift's over," he added. The rabbit-eared Faunus woman gave him a wink, folding one of her ears over as she walked back to the bar. Qrow's eyes followed her skirt for a moment. It had the perfect amount of bounce, waving in time with her steps.

 

"Yes, she has a sweet behind. Can we finish our conversation before you go trying to dive into it?" Raven bitterly condescended. Qrow looked his sister in the eyes.

 

"Like you weren't looking! I know how you like your broads, and she fits the bill just fine! The only thing you don't like about is she's not with you! Or, more accurately, she isn't Spring!"

 

"Do not speak of Vernal that way, you swine!" Raven's red eyes gleamed as the words crossed her lips. That seemed to sting her well enough, Qrow figured.

 

"So, sweet sister, what do you want with me?"

 

"Can't a woman just meet her brother for drinks once in a while?"

 

"Not when the woman is you..." Qrow spat, venom seeping from his words. Raven's eyes narrowed at the comment. The barmaid returned with their drinks, placing them on the table with a beaming grin. Raven stole a look or two at their server. She was a knockout, to be certain. A shame she'd probably be next to Qrow before very long.

 

 

Oh well. She had Vernal. Though even the Spring Maiden could hardly stand to pass up a stiff shot of this barkeep...

 

"Don't you ever get tired of being a scout for that bastard? Like one of Odin's birds, just flying around Remnant and whispering into your self-righteous leader's deaf ears. It's a shame, really. I imagined better for all of us."

 

"You're one to talk about 'better'. You've spent your entire adulthood running from your real problems. You chose those bandits over your brother, your team, even your daughter--" Raven slammed her fist down on the table.

 

"DO NOT USE THAT GIRL AGAINST ME!" She raved, collecting herself as she noticed the looks she was receiving from around the tavern. "She reminds me of Taiyang, and the thought of him disgusts me."

 

"Really? You sure had no problem lying down with him!"

 

"Summer was interested in him, and I would have done anything for her."

 

  
Qrow chortled. "You didn't have to agree so eagerly. I remember you gladly took both of them to bed. Tell me, who did you prefer between your legs? I know Tai has a pretty magical mouth." He would rather not recount those couple of experiences, but he would never forget them.

 

"Funny, he said the same of you." Raven retorted, trying and failing to get a rise out of her brother.

 

"It gets lonely out on those missions. Sometimes there's not another human for miles. You make do with what you have, and you should try everything twice. I wouldn't choose Tai again, as I've lost the taste for that sort of thing, but I'll always have those nights in the forest." Raven gagged at the very thought. Qrow was definitely drunk if he was recounting his intimate misadventures with Xiao Long.

 

"It's been terrible seeing you, as it normally is."

 

"Have you ever thought about visiting your daughter? Or even your stepkid? That child is incredible."

 

"I'm sure she takes after her mother," Raven's expression darkened. "That's precisely what will get her killed, just like Summer. That haughty bastard Opzin sent her into a fight she wasn't ready for, yet you and Tai still follow him like lost puppies!"

 

"Are we ever ready for the fight when it comes, dear sister? Summer chose to follow Oz, and you turned your back on her for it. How do you think that made her feel? One of the only people she'd ever loved left her? To form a crew of bandits and corrupt the order of the Seasons? Your girlfriend is one of the keys to defeating this Salem character, but you're content to keep Vernal between your legs while that bitch destroys the fucking world?" Qrow hiccuped, taking a long gulp of his tea. "Mmm, that's tasty."

 

"I want no part of Ozpin's war!" Raven rebuked, picking up her mask and leaving the table.

 

"Raven, before long it will be _everyone's_ war! Do you not understand that?"

 

"I have a Season on my side. I don't intend to give that up. Until next time, brother. Be sure to keep Odin well informed." She drew her sword and slashed into the open air, creating a portal which she stepped through instantly. Qrow shook his head, eyeing the drink Raven had hardly touched. He made certain the barmaid and the doorman were looking elsewhere, and he gunned the tea. It wasn't very stiff; in fact, it was just tea. Raven must have shot the broad one of her famous looks.

 

"So Babbity Rabbity, your shift over yet?" He asked her with a grin. She sidled over and sat on his lap.

 

"Wouldn't you know it? I just finished up!" She grinned, wrapping a leg around him. Oh, he'd certainly picked a good one tonight.

 

\/\/\/\/\/

\/\/\/\/\/

\/\/\/\/\/

**Author's Note:**

> Recommended Listening:  
> 'Come Join the Murder' by The White Buffalo and the Forest Rangers
> 
> I like to think Taiyang boned his entire team. Also drunk Qrow is fun to write.


End file.
